Category Archives: woman power

Woman vs. woman in the cubicle jungle

bossmain_731657aA new study that was recently released showed that women are much less tolerant of other female colleagues than men are towards other males in the work place. While male bosses can be more easy going about their underling’s mistakes or underperformance, women bosses are quick to pounce on their female coworker’s follies. 

Even though women are thought to be the more personable gender, a study at Emanuel College in Boston proved that women have  lower tolerance levels towards people of the same sex then men do:

“They asked male and female college students to complete surveys about their relationship with their roommates.

In a separate experiment, participants read a story in which someone’s best friend was described as completely reliable until one day when they broke a promise.

After reading the story, the participants were asked to judge the best friend’s reliability.

The findings, reported in the journal Psychological Science, reveal that men were much more tolerant than women of unrelated individuals of the same sex.

The men in the study rated their roommates as being more satisfactory and less bothersome than females did.

In addition, the researchers found that women were more likely to switch to a new roommate than men were.”

This study makes me feel a little better about my own current plight. My company recently gave me a new female supervisor. After being with the company for almost a year now, this woman is my third boss and first one that is a female and oh Lord,  am I  terrified of her. 

Both of my old male bosses took a laissez-faire approach to me and only contacted me if a.) I had made a mistake or b.) if they needed me to do something. Both of these scenarios were rare and thus I hardly ever communicated with them, which is how I preferred it. I cultivated my own hours, came and went as I pleased, and got my work done in a timely manner without anybody hovering over my shoulders. 

I immediately felt my stomach drop out of my butt when I was informed that my new boss would be a woman. I have had women bosses in the past who were horrible, loathsome creatures. I remember this particular boss of mine who I had to constantly step on egg-shells around and had a very peculiar habit of muttering to herself. She was thirty, single, owned two cats, and would sometimes become so flustered that she would lock herself in her office for hours and cry. One day, she even through her phone against wall and broke it. 

So, for the past two weeks I have been hiding in my new office, which is literally 30 feet away from hers. I try to hold my bladder for as long as possible before sprinting off to the bathroom because she gives me dirty glares every time I get up from my chair. My lunch-breaks are rushed and at my desk and I try to leave well after she has gone home.

I have always distrusted and feared other women and this time is no different. So, until I either receive another boss again or get her to warm up to me, I will be pussy-footing around the cubicle jungle like a wounded antelope, trying not to get eaten by the feral blonde she-wolf.

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I Hate Dating

untitledSo, for the first time in quite a few years, I am single. And whether I like it or not, it’s probably going to stay that way for quite awhile.

Last week I made the desperate and pitiful attempt to seek out a rebound. I set my sights very, very low. Low as in he is thirty, still lives with his parents, speaks exactly like Karl Childers character from the movie Sling Blade, and walks like a male pigeon. We had nothing in common except a mutal friend, an unhealthy obsession with zombies, and sore calf muscles.

So, when Mr. You-Are-Suppose-To-Be-My-Rebound-Damnit never called me back and started expressing interest in the mutal friend, my ego deflated like a popped balloon. I then tried to fling myself face first into activity-after-activity with friends, but sometimes 20-somethings are too self-involved to care about a friend in need and thus, I ended up alone in bed with my dog browsing through a self-help book that my mother loaned me.

Anyhow, my question is this: How does one get over a guy quick and efficiently? I’ve been going out almost every day of the week. I got a new haircut, rearranged my apartment, learned how to cook, tried out (and made) the Philly Roller Girl’s Fresh Meat team, but still, after two weeks of trying to keep busy, my heart still hurts. A piece of furniture or a song will remind me of him and immediately, I’ll feel my legs buckle and the water-works turn on. It happened in Target the other day which was really embarrassing.

I think my biggest fear is the loneliness that faces me everytime I enter my apartment. It is too big and too empty. I also don’t want my ex to be thriving without me. It’s hard to imagine him on the other side of the city living a Stephanie-less life and being happy. I understand that the best kind of revenge is to flourish in the wake of the other person. And I am trying to do just that. But I’ve begun smoking again and patrolling Craigslist daily for a cute, available boy.

I need to realize that I am worthy. I am a knock-out. I can stand on my own two feet. I need to get that single-girl swagger. I am a 25 year old, gorgeous, educated, successful, lovable, funny, newly-single woman and I will not settle. I can do this!

So, here is my pact with myself. I will not date for three months. I will not seek self-worth from outside sources. I will learn to cook. I will concentrate on my friends, on roller derby, on my career, on trying to get into graduate school, and on my writing. I will not be needy. I will not be the pursuer. 

And yanno what? I can do this! I will do this. I will let go, grow up, and move on. I will be okay.