Category Archives: parents

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Gen Y has suffered from some pretty heavy stigmas over the years. We’ve been labeled “self indulgent,” “lazy,” “coddled,” and so on and so forth. We’re a generation of fledgling adults, still seeking help from our parents despite the fact that we’ve been out of our teens for a decade.

A new study, however, has revealed evidence that still relying on our parents could potentially be a good thing. This need for parental approval and still using Mommy and Daddy as a financial safety net isn’t just because Gen Y is “idle.” The study concludes that the support given to us by our parents can be considered a kind of structural skeleton for our adult lives.

The  study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that members of generation Y turn to their parents as a mechanism to help their career advancement.

By “boomeranging” back to the nest, the 18 to 34 year olds can use the money they’re saving on rent to put towards advancing their education or gaining experience at an internship.

In a world where advanced education is considered more important everyday, Gen Y is laying the building blocks for a successful adulthood.

Unlike our parents or grandparents, who were married and responsible for young children by the time they were 25, we have the option of exploring multiple career paths. In a rocky economy and ever changing world, Gen Y members who have multiple skills will be better off. It also makes then more desirable to employers when they do enter the job market.

The study also concluded that most Gen Y-ers do become self sufficient by the time they are 30.

Advertisements

the joys of working from home when your home is your parents’ house

Picture it: I am in my bedroom at my parents’ house surrounded by the dolls and pee-wee soccer trophies of my yesteryears. I am on the phone with a very important man for a very important interview so I can write an article for a very important magazine. All of a sudden and out of nowhere, my mother comes into my room and asks loudly, “I’m going to the grocery store, sweetie. Do you need any tampons?” 

There is dead silence for a couple of seconds before I realize that there is a man on the other end of the line and that this man has definitely heard my mother. “Um, so, uh, yah….”

One of the things that I’ve had to adjust my life to is working from home and around the schedule of my parents. I have to use the family computer that is located in the livingroom to write because there is no room for me to put my own, anywhere. This means that I have to plan my work time around football games, vaccuming of carpets, and Dancing with the Stars. Today, I was almost done writing one article that I had spent hours working on. I was an idiot and hasn’t hit “save.” Out of nowhere, one of my mother’s exuberant labradors came charging at me and unplugged the computer with his leg.

One of the benefits of working from home is that I can wear absolutely disgusting clothing to work and everybody would be none-the-wiser. I can also eat huge amounts of ice cream and have a beer at 3pm (while at work!!!).

One of the disadvantages of working from home when your home happens to be Mom and Dad’s is the constant stream of opera music that fills the house. My parents don’t even speak Italian so why do they have to listen to Italian opera? Also today, since my parents live at the beach, the roads were flooded with ocean water and I could not leave the house. Seriously, there was fish swimming in our driveway.

Life is about adjusting. It’s not always about comfortable adjusting, but you need to learn how to adapt none-the-less. Living with my parents isn’t as bad as living with some of the roommates I have had, but I have definitely learned how to compromise, which I think will be to my advantage in the future.

Sometimes you still need your parents’ help

I am a big girl. I am house-broken, receive a weekly paycheck, know how to drive a car, and open a bottle of wine. Yet, despite all of the things that I can do on my own, there are still some things that I need my parents to help me with, ie taxes. The picture to the right shows just exactly what I was dealing with…

I just have no idea where to begin. Once I recieved all of my forms, including the one from my fulltime job and the 12 billion other ones from multiple freelancing gigs, I lay them out on the kitchen table, looked them over once, and allowed them to sit there for two weeks until I visited my parents for my mom’s birthday. Once back at home, I handed my father the wrinkled pile (which had 14 days worth of dust and cat hair on it) and said, “Help me.”

No matter how old or how independent you are, you will always at some point need advice from your parents. And you shouldn’t feel bad about asking them for help once in awhile. It’s all part of this growing up, navigating the world thing. Your parents are your North Star. They are there to help hold your hand and lead the way.

I call my parents roughly three-four times a day. My father even set their landline phone to have a special ring tone when I call, just so my mother can know to avoid picking up if she wants to. I think it’s Farmer in the Dell, or maybe the shower-scene music from Psycho.

I am a princess and I shall get my way

I was coddled as a child. No. Eighty-six that. I was downright spoiled. My parents gave me everything I ever wanted and more. I had toys, clothes, and a car. I even had a pony (yes, a real live pony). They were wonderful, giving, selfless people who wanted their children to have the world. And I took full advantage of this.

As a teenager, I learned to manipulate my parents into giving me what I wanted. I would cry. I would sulk. I would beg. I would cause guilt-trips. I would scream. I was a self-diluted princess and my family were my servants. 

Now, at the ripe old age of 25, I am mortified by the way I behaved back then. Yet, I still suffer from selfish tendencies. I don’t blame my parents for making me this way, but their constant doting did lend some contribution to the way I turned out. I still sometimes act like a toddler with a tiara on her head rolling around on the floor and sobbing.

It’s a part of my personality that I’m not happy about and I’m trying to work on. Even in this new “adult” chapter of my life I put myself first. I did something regrettably stupid and irresponsible and insensitive to my dad and sister last month that I’m still having trouble dealing with. And the sad part is that I had no idea my actions were wrong until both of them called me out on it. I was so oblivious to the feelings of others (and to top it off, these “others” were my own FAMILY) that I couldn’t even see that my actions were hurtful. 

I guess part of your twenties involves beating that stupid little brat inside of you with a leather belt. People need to become more aware of how their words and actions affect other people. It’s so ironic that most of us know the golden rule by heart, but we rarely seem to follow it in our day-to-day interactions with others. And we don’t do this on purpose. We just don’t know any better because our heads are jammed so tightly up our butts.