Well, folks. This is it. If they win tonight, our boys will be going to the World Series for the second year in a row. It is an event that will be sure to unite an entire city in either joyous rapture or crippling despair. With the exception of me. I will be giving myself a pedicure and watching The Hills.
When it comes to sports, I honestly wish I could just jump on the band-wagon and give a damn. I wish I was the type of girl who could go sit in a sports-bar for six hours and watch men in tight pants run around a diamond and hit balls with wooden sticks. I honestly wish I could get down with something like that. But I’d rather not.
Last year, I just hid in my apartment all week. The one time I did decide to go out and make my way up to Fishtown, I got stuck in that enormous rioting crowd that was littered across Broad Street and I started to cry and hyperventilate at the same time.
I think baseball is a fairly primitive sport. And don’t even get me started on football. That’s just downright barbaric and rather unnecessary. I don’t even understand the rules and my father has explained them to my at least half a billion times over the course of my lifetime.
So while I wish the Phillies good luck with their game tonight, just know, I really don’t care either way. I’m just not that into you, Philadelphia sports teams.