It’s tough to have a crush

heartbrokenHave you ever heard the saying “the heart wants what the heart wants?” I think Woody Allen used that as an excuse after he married Soon-Yi Previn, but he’s right on target here. Once the heart makes up its mind, it’s very difficult to dissuade it. 

I recently met this guy who I’ve fallen fairly hard for and it’s bothering me because literally all I’ve been thinking about for the last three days is him. And I really, really really want my affections to be returned, but it’s looking more and more like this is not going to be the case. 

What are the things within us that steer us towards certain people? Are the people that attract us reflections of ourselves or do they possess a quality that we lack? 

I have always had two very different boyfriend prototypes. I like to refer to them as the puppy and the pirate. The pirate is usually a man’s man, somebody who likes to take charge, who steals you away to his deserted island, rips open your 18th century corset, and devours each and every part of you. He is animalistic, has commitment phobias, and the relationship usually doesn’t go anywhere. Other girls might refer to the pirate type as “douche bags.”

Puppies are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from pirates. These guys are affectionate, a little naive, and totally authentic. They have no hidden agendas up their sleeves and will do anything in their power to please you. Think Ducky from Pretty in Pink

Now, every girl secretly wants to end up with Ducky in the end. But the puppy type can be a bore and we want to sow our wild oats, even if it means perpetual heartache for a few years.

What am I getting to with all of this? I think I really want a guy that possesses both puppy and pirate attributes. And I think I found what I’ve been looking for in this guy, but I’m afraid he’s not going to call me again. And I sometimes wish for asexuality, but that’s no fun at all.


One response to “It’s tough to have a crush

  1. I hate crushes. They always make me feel like I’m some fucking doe eyed puppy at a guys heels.

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